How to make friends as an adult: 12 things that actually work

Making friends after college is harder. Nobody puts you in the same class every day anymore. The good news: it’s a skill, and it gets easier with a few simple habits.

Where to meet new people

• Go to the same thing every week. A run club, a book club or a weekly games night. Seeing the same faces is how strangers become friends.

• Join something with a shared task. A workshop, a volunteer group or a sports team. Doing something together is easier than small talk.

• Say yes to invites. Even when you’re tired. Most friendships start at an event you almost skipped.

• Go alone sometimes. People talk to someone on their own far more than to a group.

• Use your existing circle. Ask a friend to bring someone new to your next plan.

• Try meetups built for meeting people. Supper clubs, mixers and social events where everyone is there to meet others.

How to turn a chat into a friendship

• Remember one detail. Their dog’s name, their trip, their new job. Ask about it next time.

• Suggest a specific plan. “Want to try that café on Saturday?” beats “we should hang out sometime”.

• Follow up within a week. Momentum matters. Waiting a month resets things.

• Invite them into a group plan. Lower pressure than one-on-one, and it mixes your circles.

• Be the one who organises. Most people want to be invited. Few want to plan.

How to keep friendships going

• Make it a routine. A monthly dinner or a weekly walk does more than big plans.

• Check in for no reason. A meme or “saw this and thought of you” counts.

• Show up for the big days. Birthdays, moves, bad weeks.

If you’ve just moved to a new city

• Pick two regular things in your first month. One active, one social.

• Host something small. Invite three people you’ve met once each. Small groups become friend groups.

• Give it time. Close friendships take many hangouts. Keep going even if the first few feel slow.

Find your plan on 8club

• Find something to do. Search Hotspots happening near you this week.

• Follow hosts you like. You’ll hear the moment their next Hotspot goes live.

• Build your Circle. When you and a friend follow each other, you’re in each other’s Circle.

• Share your profile. Send your 8club profile so new friends can follow you.

• Get a group chat, made for you. 8club opens one for everyone going as soon as you create the Hotspot, and people can message each other directly.

• Show where you go out. Your profile has a map of the places you’ve been, from Hotspots you attend and places you add.

Quick answers

How do adults make new friends?

By seeing the same people again and again: a weekly club, class or sport, plus inviting people to specific plans.

Where can I meet new people in a new city?

Run clubs, book clubs, workshops, supper clubs, volunteer groups and social events built for meeting people.