Hm, why is everyone feeling lonely? - 8club

Why does making friends get difficult the older we get? In fact, the idea itself feels a little awkward, right?

We all agree - we need third spaces. We need to spend less time on our phones. We all need to go out and touch grass. And, the crowd-favourite, “We need to build communities”. But then, why are we not able to?

Think about it, we are talking about India - a country known for its warmth and community-first culture. And yet, we don’t really feel it in our own lives. In fact, a 2026 global survey of 36 countries ranked India the 2nd loneliest country of the lot.

What’s gone wrong and how do we fix it?

Why does making friends get difficult the older we get? In fact, the idea itself feels a little awkward, right?

We all agree - we need third spaces. We need to spend less time on our phones. We all need to go out and touch grass. And, the crowd-favourite, “We need to build communities”. But then, why are we not able to?

Think about it, we are talking about India - a country known for its warmth and community-first culture. And yet, we don’t really feel it in our own lives. In fact, a 2026 global survey of 36 countries ranked India the 2nd loneliest country of the lot.

What’s gone wrong and how do we fix it?

Third spaces and what else?

The urban millennial or Gen Z Indian doesn’t live in a tight-knit neighbourhood. The nosy aunties and uncles we grew up around are back in our hometowns. At least for most of us.

Unlike our parents, we don’t go for evening walks in the park where global and neighbourhood news is discussed with equal enthusiasm. If we are lucky, we go to the gym instead. We get our daily steps in and we go back home.

Our socialising looks like this:

Step one: Make a rare coffee, beer, or lunch plan

Step two: Think about cancelling, then feel relieved when someone else cancels first

Step three: Order in and let Netflix and our phones fight for our attention.

“I don’t even get the time to socialise over the weekend” is a competition between equally exhausted adults.

So, yes. We need third spaces, but we also need a mindset shift.

We need to go back in time.

The urban millennial or Gen Z Indian doesn’t live in a tight-knit neighbourhood. The nosy aunties and uncles we grew up around are back in our hometowns. At least for most of us.

Unlike our parents, we don’t go for evening walks in the park where global and neighbourhood news is discussed with equal enthusiasm. If we are lucky, we go to the gym instead. We get our daily steps in and we go back home.

Our socialising looks like this:

Step one: Make a rare coffee, beer, or lunch plan

Step two: Think about cancelling, then feel relieved when someone else cancels first

Step three: Order in and let Netflix and our phones fight for our attention.

“I don’t even get the time to socialise over the weekend” is a competition between equally exhausted adults.

So, yes. We need third spaces, but we also need a mindset shift.

We need to go back in time.

The good old days

“Make friends” was something our mothers told us on the first day of school. Teachers would pair us up with new kids and say “don’t be shy”. Having friends was this big milestone, a signal that your childhood is going alright.

In your childhood neighbourhood, you’d be besties with the kid who had the coolest toys. In college, friendships were exchanged with lecture notes, cheap canteen food, and night outs where everybody got a little too buzzed.

TL;DR, connection is easier to find when our world is build for it. Community that’s so readily available that we don’t even think about it.

How do we make it happen?

“Make friends” was something our mothers told us on the first day of school. Teachers would pair us up with new kids and say “don’t be shy”. Having friends was this big milestone, a signal that your childhood is going alright.

In your childhood neighbourhood, you’d be besties with the kid who had the coolest toys. In college, friendships were exchanged with lecture notes, cheap canteen food, and night outs where everybody got a little too buzzed.

TL;DR, connection is easier to find when our world is build for it. Community that’s so readily available that we don’t even think about it.

How do we make it happen?

Stop treating your social life as optional

Human beings are literally biologically wired for social connection. Lack of it can increase our stress levels, blood pressure, even chances of heart problems. Biologically speaking, your immune system needs you to feel less lonely.

Meaning, socialising shouldn’t be an afterthought. It should be a solid priority. And trust me, you don’t need superhero-levels of time management to make it happen. You just need to look in places you haven’t been looking at.

The “weekend to weekend” life needs to go

We give our weekdays to work and hibernation, and our weekends to everything else. But, when all you have is the weekend, social plans need to compete with sooooo much else for your time.

So, stop waiting for the weekend or 5 uninterrupted hours to make time for your friendships.

Make Wednesday night plans of “everybody comes over at my place and we eat Maggi with wine”. Skip ordering groceries online and do a good ol’ fashioned grocery run with a friend. Instead of going straight back home, ask your gym buddies if they’d want to grab food.

30 minutes of socialising is better than waiting for your schedules to align weekend after weekend.

The idea is to make “hangouts” as friction-free as they can be. On that note, how about hosting that Wednesday night hang?